High on a Cloud.

I press my cheek to the window, feeling the warmth of the sun shining through the thick window pane. 

 Clouds, bright and clean, softly lift the wings, guiding the plane through the mystic realm.  I used to seek an end to my suffering, an end to everything, but now, above all, I seek peace.  Amongst the clouds, my mind wanders, day dreaming under the gentle embrace of the sun.  I drape flowing cloud gowns and scarves around me, adorning myself like an ancient goddess.  Castles become birds and birds become schools of fish swimming across the sky, their scales reflecting the bright sunlight.

I dream of a body.  

One that can soar through the sky with the ease of a bird.  I dream of a body that could carry me as I dance, leaping across the seemingly endless ballrooms.   The clouds shift in the breeze.  My robes turn to rags.  

It’s too soon.  This dream always ends too soon.  

As my mind returns to reality, I sink.  The clouds can’t support me.  I’m sinking.  Lower, and lower.  Quicker, and quicker.  Falling through the safe blanket of comfort, I crash land and it all comes back, forcefully like a punch in the face.  There is no end. Only occasional foggy escapes.

I return to earth. 

I return to my sick body.  

I stand, fighting gravity as it crushes my body, riddled with sickness.  I look to the sky through teary eyes, hoping for another breath of fresh air, but there’s none.  The wispy clouds wave goodbye.  A lingering reminder of my dream.